This is how I run

1st two hands for today. I love starting like this. Every fucking day this is how it starts. It's defeating to start everyday in the hole.

ull Tilt Poker Game #5892076425: Table Pulsar (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - Pot Limit Omaha H/L - 13:33:48 ET - 2008/04/03
Seat 1: crkdog ($36.15)
Seat 2: Thestoneman63 ($75)
Seat 3: smam431 ($52.95)
Seat 4: STUDEBEKER ($48.80)
Seat 5: Zophar ($100)
STUDEBEKER posts the small blind of $0.50
Zophar posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Zophar [Qh 8s 7s 3h]
StrivenIvan sits down
StrivenIvan adds $40
crkdog has 15 seconds left to act
crkdog calls $1
Thestoneman63 folds
smam431 calls $1
STUDEBEKER calls $0.50
Zophar checks
*** FLOP *** [6d 9c 8c]
STUDEBEKER checks
Zophar checks
crkdog checks
smam431 checks
*** TURN *** [6d 9c 8c] [Jh]
STUDEBEKER checks
Zophar checks
crkdog checks
smam431 checks
*** RIVER *** [6d 9c 8c Jh] [Jc]
STUDEBEKER checks
Zophar checks
crkdog checks
smam431 bets $1
STUDEBEKER folds
Zophar adds $1
Zophar folds
crkdog folds
Uncalled bet of $1 returned to smam431
smam431 mucks
smam431 wins the pot ($3.80)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $4 | Rake $0.20
Board: [6d 9c 8c Jh Jc]
Seat 1: crkdog folded on the River
Seat 2: Thestoneman63 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: smam431 (button) collected ($3.80), mucked
Seat 4: STUDEBEKER (small blind) folded on the River
Seat 5: Zophar (big blind) folded on the River



Full Tilt Poker Game #5892085632: Table Pulsar (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - Pot Limit Omaha H/L - 13:34:49 ET - 2008/04/03
Seat 1: crkdog ($35.15)
Seat 2: Thestoneman63 ($75)
Seat 3: smam431 ($55.75)
Seat 4: STUDEBEKER ($47.80)
Seat 5: Zophar ($100)
Seat 6: StrivenIvan ($40)
Zophar posts the small blind of $0.50
StrivenIvan has 5 seconds left to act
StrivenIvan posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Zophar [7d 5d Ks Kc]
crkdog calls $1
Thestoneman63 folds
smam431 calls $1
STUDEBEKER folds
Zophar calls $0.50
StrivenIvan checks
*** FLOP *** [Kh 6d 4c]
Zophar bets $2
StrivenIvan folds
crkdog raises to $10
smam431 folds
Zophar raises to $34
crkdog raises to $34.15, and is all in
Zophar calls $0.15
crkdog shows [4d 4h 3c 6c]
Zophar shows [7d 5d Ks Kc]
*** TURN *** [Kh 6d 4c] [7c]
*** RIVER *** [Kh 6d 4c 7c] [4s]
crkdog shows four of a kind, Fours, for high
Zophar shows a full house, Kings full of Fours, for high
crkdog wins the pot ($69.30) with four of a kind, Fours
Zophar adds $35.15
No low hand qualified
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $72.30 | Rake $3
Board: [Kh 6d 4c 7c 4s]
Seat 1: crkdog showed [4d 4h 3c 6c] and won ($69.30) with HI: four of a kind, Fours
Seat 2: Thestoneman63 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: smam431 folded on the Flop
Seat 4: STUDEBEKER (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: Zophar (small blind) showed [7d 5d Ks Kc] and lost with HI: a full house, Kings full of Fours
Seat 6: StrivenIvan (big blind) folded on the Flop

Sigh

I'm really trying to play well. Putting alot of thought into every single hand. The these situations occur. yeah yeah yeah. I want him to make such a play. yada yada yada. I say BS at this point. Why? Because this is so commonly the result. Aside from the fact that it is a constant drain on my bank roll(I have alot harder time doubling up than losing a buy in), it also leads me to question my play and to inevitably play differently. Twice yesterday it happened. I didn't have 2 double ups to help offset it. Twice I also lost AK vs AK, both preflop shoves. No double ups to offset those either.

I talk about the whole range concept. I'm really starting to believe that it's a bunch of bullshit. Oh, call/shove w/XX here because his range is RR-ZZ. Against that range your equity is blah blah. Villian virtually never has RR-WW, they almost always have YY-ZZ. Or in this case, one of the few occasions that I'm a huge favorite and do come upon RR-WW, they spike their 2 outer. Why can't I ever fucking do that? I'd love to be climbing one of these days, making progress, and not have this utter bullshit happen to constantly knock me back down. I would have been fine with the hand I think if he had a 7 or pocket 5's. He got me to get my money in bad, kudos. But for christ sakes, I got my money in good, why isn't it ever good enough?

Full Tilt Poker Game #5884044944: Table Barbie (6 max) - $0.10/$0.25 - No Limit Hold'em - 18:53:28 ET - 2008/04/02
Seat 1: WS2260 ($48.80)
Seat 2: bohemians ($38.85)
Seat 3: Runner60 ($24.65)
Seat 4: Fuzzy1951 ($10)
Seat 5: prodienst ($60.75)
Seat 6: Zophar ($28.80)
WS2260 posts the small blind of $0.10
bohemians posts the big blind of $0.25
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Zophar [Kc Kh]
Runner60 folds
prodienst folds
Zophar raises to $0.85
WS2260 folds
bohemians has 15 seconds left to act
bohemians calls $0.60
*** FLOP *** [7c 5h 7d]
bohemians checks
Zophar has 15 seconds left to act
Zophar bets $1
bohemians raises to $2
Zophar has 15 seconds left to act
Zophar raises to $6.25
bohemians raises to $38, and is all in
Zophar has 15 seconds left to act
Zophar has requested TIME<---------I even requested time to really think about it!

Zophar calls $21.70, and is all in
bohemians shows [9s 9c]
Zophar shows [Kc Kh]
Uncalled bet of $10.05 returned to bohemians
*** TURN *** [7c 5h 7d] [9h]
*** RIVER *** [7c 5h 7d 9h] [5c]
bohemians shows a full house, Nines full of Sevens
Zophar shows two pair, Kings and Sevens
bohemians wins the pot ($54.85) with a full house, Nines full of Sevens
Zophar adds $25
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $57.70 | Rake $2.85
Board: [7c 5h 7d 9h 5c]
Seat 1: WS2260 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: bohemians (big blind) showed [9s 9c] and won ($54.85) with a full house, Nines full of Sevens
Seat 3: Runner60 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Fuzzy1951 is sitting out
Seat 5: prodienst didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Zophar (button) showed [Kc Kh] and lost with two pair, Kings and Sevens

I'm really getting fed up with it. All I've ended up doing recently is bitching. I'd love to find some positive in it, but I'm having such a hard time finding anything. Yay, my gbucks are up. It's meaningless because when I'm playing well, I see no reward. I so rarely get paid off on my good hands that it's nearly impossible to get ahead. It's tough to see any profit when most often, no one has anything when you have something.

I see jongreenway, mistaken69, etc. HH's and I just laugh. How the fuck do you always seem to find opponents who play so poorly, especially when you have big hands? And they hold up! I really don't get it. I shove top 2 vs a FD and it seems to be a guarantee that I lose.