Sigh

I'm really trying to play well. Putting alot of thought into every single hand. The these situations occur. yeah yeah yeah. I want him to make such a play. yada yada yada. I say BS at this point. Why? Because this is so commonly the result. Aside from the fact that it is a constant drain on my bank roll(I have alot harder time doubling up than losing a buy in), it also leads me to question my play and to inevitably play differently. Twice yesterday it happened. I didn't have 2 double ups to help offset it. Twice I also lost AK vs AK, both preflop shoves. No double ups to offset those either.

I talk about the whole range concept. I'm really starting to believe that it's a bunch of bullshit. Oh, call/shove w/XX here because his range is RR-ZZ. Against that range your equity is blah blah. Villian virtually never has RR-WW, they almost always have YY-ZZ. Or in this case, one of the few occasions that I'm a huge favorite and do come upon RR-WW, they spike their 2 outer. Why can't I ever fucking do that? I'd love to be climbing one of these days, making progress, and not have this utter bullshit happen to constantly knock me back down. I would have been fine with the hand I think if he had a 7 or pocket 5's. He got me to get my money in bad, kudos. But for christ sakes, I got my money in good, why isn't it ever good enough?

Full Tilt Poker Game #5884044944: Table Barbie (6 max) - $0.10/$0.25 - No Limit Hold'em - 18:53:28 ET - 2008/04/02
Seat 1: WS2260 ($48.80)
Seat 2: bohemians ($38.85)
Seat 3: Runner60 ($24.65)
Seat 4: Fuzzy1951 ($10)
Seat 5: prodienst ($60.75)
Seat 6: Zophar ($28.80)
WS2260 posts the small blind of $0.10
bohemians posts the big blind of $0.25
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Zophar [Kc Kh]
Runner60 folds
prodienst folds
Zophar raises to $0.85
WS2260 folds
bohemians has 15 seconds left to act
bohemians calls $0.60
*** FLOP *** [7c 5h 7d]
bohemians checks
Zophar has 15 seconds left to act
Zophar bets $1
bohemians raises to $2
Zophar has 15 seconds left to act
Zophar raises to $6.25
bohemians raises to $38, and is all in
Zophar has 15 seconds left to act
Zophar has requested TIME<---------I even requested time to really think about it!

Zophar calls $21.70, and is all in
bohemians shows [9s 9c]
Zophar shows [Kc Kh]
Uncalled bet of $10.05 returned to bohemians
*** TURN *** [7c 5h 7d] [9h]
*** RIVER *** [7c 5h 7d 9h] [5c]
bohemians shows a full house, Nines full of Sevens
Zophar shows two pair, Kings and Sevens
bohemians wins the pot ($54.85) with a full house, Nines full of Sevens
Zophar adds $25
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $57.70 | Rake $2.85
Board: [7c 5h 7d 9h 5c]
Seat 1: WS2260 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: bohemians (big blind) showed [9s 9c] and won ($54.85) with a full house, Nines full of Sevens
Seat 3: Runner60 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Fuzzy1951 is sitting out
Seat 5: prodienst didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Zophar (button) showed [Kc Kh] and lost with two pair, Kings and Sevens

I'm really getting fed up with it. All I've ended up doing recently is bitching. I'd love to find some positive in it, but I'm having such a hard time finding anything. Yay, my gbucks are up. It's meaningless because when I'm playing well, I see no reward. I so rarely get paid off on my good hands that it's nearly impossible to get ahead. It's tough to see any profit when most often, no one has anything when you have something.

I see jongreenway, mistaken69, etc. HH's and I just laugh. How the fuck do you always seem to find opponents who play so poorly, especially when you have big hands? And they hold up! I really don't get it. I shove top 2 vs a FD and it seems to be a guarantee that I lose.